The Thing and The Mysterious Pile Of Dishes
by Chrissy Calavicci
Summary: One shot one kill story! It's Johnny's week to do the dishes. With the hype of the upcoming fourth of July weekend, three of our heroes set off. Johnny assures Ben the dishes have been done before he leaves. Ben calls up Alicia for some pizza and disc


**Author Note: Hey! It's me again! This is my first shot at a F4 fic. It's meant to be a little comical since, well, that just happened to be the type of mood I was in when I wrote it. After about 2 weeks of recieving no inspiration for a Fantastic Four story, I finally got knocked on the head with a load of it while doing the dishes. Seriously...just read on and you'll understand.:)**

Ben Grimm watched as his fellow team-members prepared for the weekend. He watched as Susan Storm scurried past him chanting something along the lines of, "Where did I leave it? Where did I leave it?"

"Calm down Sue." Ben laughed, "It's not like it's going to be any different. You two spend every free moment together, so what difference will it make if you're in a hotel room or not with whatever it is you're looking for or not?"

She stopped what she was doing and looked at him, "Tell me how you really feel Ben." She smiled, "You've been waiting _all_ week to get rid of us so you can have some peace and quiet."

Ben gave a hearty laugh, "Y'know, just because I want some peace and quiet doesn't mean I want to be all alone…I was kinda wondering…"

"You know we don't care if you have company. I mean, since when has it been a policy to ask? We're all adults here."

"I wasn't asking your permission." Ben shook his head as he stood up, "I was asking that you please, under no circumstances find a reason to come home early. Fourth of July is a four day weekend in most books. Whatever goes down can be handled by someone else-"

"I know." She said, "We've already made arrangements on that. Like you said, it's a four day weekend and I plan to enjoy it."

"Sue…we've GOT TO GO!" An arm stretched into the room and took Susan's hand.

"Guess you're not going to find what you're looking for." Ben smiled.

"That's okay," She said as she left, "WE CAN'T GO ANYWHERE WITHOUT THE CAR KEYS!"

Reed's hand let go of hers, "Sorry!" He shouted, "Go ahead and continue!"

She laughed and continued looking for the keys. Ben sighed, sure, he could crush things into powder with just his pinky nail, but he found that _this_ was much more amusing.

"Got them!" She snatched the keys up and ran towards the door, giving Ben a quick kiss on the cheek before she left, "See you in a few days!"

"You'd better not return until after 7 on the fifth!" Ben called after her.

He sat in silence a couple moments before finally deciding to pick up the phone. After all, Johnny would be leaving soon anyway right?

"Hello?" The voice on the other line answered.

Ben smiled, "Alicia?"

"Who else would it be?" she laughed.

"I LURRRRRRRVE YOU ALICIA!" Ben narrowed his eyes when he heard the all annoying entrance of Johnny Storm.

"Was that who I think it was?"

"Yeah. I'll call you back in a couple minutes." he hung up the phone and turned to Johnny.

"Man, if you weren't all rocky and stuff, you'd probably be a pretty shade of red!" Johnny laughed.

"I am going to-"

"What? Clobber me?" Johnny went straight into playful mode.

Ben stood up and cracked his knuckles.

"Can you smellllllllllllllll what the-eep!"

"I am going to kill you and I'm not going to make it painless." Ben said darkly as he grabbed Johnny by the shoulders.

"Okay, I'm going." Johnny said, "I won't bother you and your precious-ow! Stop that!"

"You'd better have done the dishes." Ben stated as he let Johnny go. Then he smiled, "You really didn't think I was going to kill you?"

"'Course not big guy." Johnny laughed, "My day isn't complete until you've threatened me at least once. Don't worry about the dishes, they're fine." He took off before Ben could say anything else.

Once the door was shut and he was certain Johnny wasn't coming back, he picked up the phone again.

"Coast clear?" Alicia laughed.

"Yeah." Ben said, "So, need me to come get you?"

"No," She said, "I'm at the mall with one of my friends right now. Want me to pick up a pizza on my way over?"

"Sounds like a plan." Ben said as they both hung up. He then went into the kitchen area, "Gotta get some plates and---what the hell?"

He gasped in horror as he looked at the kitchen. It looked as if WWIII had erupted in their dining area. "I am going to KILL him!" He shouted. "How on God's green earth am I going to get all of these dishes clean in thirty minutes or less? There's a weeks worth in here! That boy is disgusting. He's going to die."

"How am I going to do this? I could just chuck all these out the window and opt for paper plates and replace them later…oh no." He shook his head, "I think Sue would realize the good China was missing. I'm not even supposed to touch that stuff."

Grumbling he started shoving dishes in the dishwasher. He tried to fit double the amount that was supposed to go in there. Once the door was closed, it left the dishwasher looking a little bent up and the dishes didn't seem to fare too well either.

He looked at the sink, but it seemed as if the dishes had multiplied. Ben got the best idea he'd ever had. He took a trash bag and filled it up with all the dirty dishes. Once the sink was cleared of dishes, he cleaned it out. Then, as an evil grin crossed his face he took the bag of dishes and headed towards Johnny's room and spread the dishes out on the Hot-Head's bed. Then an even better idea hit him.

His thoughts were interrupted when the doorbell rang. He was almost disappointed that Alicia had arrived so early, but he couldn't let that stop his plans. He answered the door. "Hi!"

He wrapped his arm around her and led her into the living room, "Have a seat, I'm almost done doing the dishes." After she sat down he rushed off again.

"Ben?" She asked, "Are you up to something? You sound different. I have the pizza."

"Just a minute!" He said trying to contain his laughter.

"I don't hear any water…"

"That's because I'm putting them away."

"I don't hear any dishes clinking!"

"Don't worry! I'm almost done!"

Frustrated that she had _no _idea what was going on, she turned around, "Where are you? Get over here!"

Ben put the finishing touches on the camera in Johnny's room. "Can't wait to see him." He then sat next to Alicia. "Okay, is the pizza still warm?"

"What are you up to?"

"Nothing." He promised, "I just wanted to make sure everything was under control-"

"You're lying."

"Don't worry. I'll tell you all about it later."

* * *

**July 5th…7PM.**

Susan and Reed came in the door. Reed looked at Ben, sitting patiently on the couch with a strange grin on his face. In fact, he couldn't recall a time when he'd ever seen Ben smile that way.

"You okay Ben?" Reed asked.

"Just nice to have a weekend to myself is all."

"I don't even want to know what you did." Susan laughed.

"Oh…I did something alright. Just not what you're thinking."

Puzzled, Susan and Reed shook their heads and walked away. Much to Ben's pleasure, Johnny came barreling in the door moments later.

"Wooo! I'm tired!" He shouted, "Off to bed for me!" Ben watched as he ran off to what should have been his comfort zone.

"What the hell? ARG!"

Ben, Susan and Reed ran to Johnny who was now dangling from the ceiling, piles of now moldy dishes strewn over his bed. The camera clicked and Ben took the Polaroid. "And THAT is for posterity!" He laughed.

Johnny scowled, "I'm going to KILL you! FLAME ON!"


End file.
